Tonight I saw Ridley Scott's new Robin Hood, starring Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett. I hadn't read any reviews going into this movie, and knew only what I'd heard briefly from my mom and from snippets of the trailer I'd seen on TV.
Here's my overall consensus: Entertaining and enjoyable but ultimately forgettable film rife with content borrowed from everything from Braveheart to A Knight's Tale.
The Breakdown:
-Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett (obviously) did a wonderful job acting-wise. Do I even need to say this? It would be more shocking if either of them turned out a bad performance. However, I do have to say that trying to pinpoint how Robin "Longstride" is different demeanor-wise (or personality-wise, speech-wise, or looks-wise) from Maximus Decimus Meridius would be...difficult. A little older maybe, but this is typical noble/renegade/tough guy/respected leader fare that we've seen time and time again from Russell. Not sayin' it was bad; just sayin' it was nothing new.
Care Blanchett on the other hand made what could have been a really annoying role into a really likable role. (I cringe when I think of the original casting of Sienna Miller in this role...no one, at least not me, wants to see a posh, hipster Maid Marion. I don't care how unfair it is that she got fired because she made Russell Crowe look fat.) Her maturity, both as a person who is over thirty and as a renowned actress, added a gravity to the role that rendered some of her "sassy female" lines more bearable. I'm still not down with the whole "woman-going-into-battle-dressed-as-a-man" gig that modern films seem determined to do (ahem, Keira Knightly in every film!), but I do have to admit that she made it more believable than a lot of other actresses would have. Still, I wish filmmakers/writers/actresses wouldn't feel that being a strong, independent woman means that you have to go into battle with the men. I personally consider myself strong and independent (if not in body at least in mind) but would go to great lengths to avoid gashing open the flesh of my enemy alongside thousands of filthy and randy men. I do not consider this a weakness; I consider it common sense. Bottom line: the film industry needs to broaden their view of what it means to be a strong woman, and every portrayal need not include quippy banter and physical acumen.
Some other cliches:
-A villain in a dark cloak with a scar. (Do bad guys always have to look like bad guys?)
-A pouty, playboy, slightly effeminate prince.
-Raucous bar scenes with singing, dancing, and dirty people with bad teeth. And dangling boobs.
-Dirtiness all around. (Modern filmmakers are so adamant to make things "gritty")
-Shots of thousands of arrows flying through the air.
-Ethereal choral music when respected old men die (or anyone for that matter).
-Cheeky sidekicks, often with red hair.
-"Epic" battle scenes (NOT EVERYTHING IS EPIC!! Sometimes fights are small village affairs - mere scuffles and kerfuffles...I am sure of it. There simply weren't enough people for every battle to be 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 vs. 100,000,000,000,000,000,000) (I exaggerate)(But so did they.)
-Storming of a beach by thousands of ships...Holy Ben Hur, Batman! Ramming speed! (also, *cough* TROY *cough*)
Some things I did really enjoy:
The scenery - wherever it was filmed, I want to go there. I especially loved the scene where the men galloped out through the water to deliver Richard the Lion Heart's helmet to his men. I would give almost anything to gallop along the shore somewhere. And ride in an old-fashioned ship with sails. And sailors (with teeth.) (Clean teeth.)
Cate Blanchett's quote - "I sleep with a dagger. If you ever move as to touch me, I will sever your manhood." Strangely, I've felt compelled on multiple occasions to recite something similar.
Prince John - He grew on me. There's something about royal poutiness that just tickles and amuses.
Seeing MR. DARCY (Matthew McFadyn, from the most recent Pride and Prejudice) as the SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM! What an odd duo.
On a side but related note, there were multiple instances of "I've-seen-you-before-but-where?" actors and actresses in this film, including but not limited to John Hurt (Sweet Land), Mark Strong (Sherlock Holmes), Eileen Atkins (What A Girl Wants, Vanity Fair), Max von Sydow (Shutter Island), and Mark Addy (A Knight's Tale), to name a few.
In closing, I'll just say that if I had made this movie, I would have made it differently, and here's how:
I can't speak for anyone but myself on this matter, but the reason I'm drawn towards the story of Robin Hood is neither for its "epic" scope nor its historical truthfulness. What I love is the idea of the character of Robin Hood himself - an impish, mischievous, rascal with a lack of regard for authority and a soft spot for the poor. I like the idea of a band of outlaws living a scallywag lifestyle in the forest amusing themselves by playing tricks on the pompous and getting really good at archery. I like the idea of a romance with Maid Marion, a jolly Friar Tuck, and some loyal, "up-for-anything" buddies in the form of Little John and Will Scarlet. I do NOT care if they are "gritty" or if they behave according to every historical nuance.
Maybe someday I will make my own romping and lighthearted version of Robin Hood. Until then, I will have to remain content writing this review or maybe making some really cheesy paper dolls.
